The question of “can men and women be friends” definitely stirs up a lot of conversation and opinion. It is also a bit of a controversial topic, which is partly why I’m writing about it. I just loooove talking about stuff that other people won’t talk about. 🙂 Hehe.
So can men and women be friends? YES. Absolutely. It is 100% possible and I am living proof of that.
My best friend Val is a very heterosexual male and we have an awesome, platonic friendship. I am blessed to have him in my life and I appreciate our friendship more than he probably realizes! He’s shown me what is possible. I’ve had my ups and downs with him and we’ve had moments of crying, laughing, and growing together.
For a long time, I had a lot of insecurities about having relationships with men because of some fears that I had. Leaning into my fears and being confident and true to myself really helped me overcome and create the awesome platonic male relationships I have today. It’s really important for you to understand that this is possible for you too.
BE GROUNDED IN YOUR INTENTIONS
I know this is a touchy subject for some but there are a lot of ladies that can relate to this. I used to always be afraid of being misunderstood and that men would get the wrong impression of my intentions. That they would think I was hitting on them, especially when I was single.
My second fear was that their intentions weren’t pure and that they had a hidden agenda with me. Where they really being my friend or did they want something more? Were they doing business with me because they believed in my skills and abilities… or just to get in my pants? This was a genuine concern for me for a very long time and it had me really uncomfortable about approaching men.
Here’s the important thing to get: the only person you can control is YOU. So be sure you are grounded in your truth and your intention.
It’s only weird if you make it weird
When you’re talking to somebody, take the time to evaluate what’s going on in your head. Are you thinking “Oh my god, I’m worried that they’re gonna think I am hitting on them? Or what if they’re hitting on me? What if they have a hidden agenda?”
If you’re thinking those thoughts, it will actually radiate toward the other person and they will feel your energy and feel uncomfortable. Your thoughts create feeling and the way you feel will give off a certain energy.
Even thinking “can men and women be friends?” and questioning the possibility can ruin your confidence and give off a weird vibe.
Be mindful of your thoughts and choose them wisely. What is your intention in talking with this man (or woman)? The more grounded and clear you are about your intention, the more clear and grounded your energy will be.
Remember: we can only control what we think, not what other’s think. Step one is getting your energy and mindset right before engaging in these conversations.
COMMUNICATE WITH A SMILE
We established that it’s only weird if you make it weird, right?
If you feel something is still off even after you’ve grounded yourself, then it’s time for you to speak up and own your voice. And you can do this with a SMILE on your face. You don’t need to be in a somber, sour, uncomfortable mood to communicate your intentions and boundaries.
Be confident in telling him how you feel because no one knows your thoughts and feelings better than you. For example:
“Hey, I just want to be clear about my intention in our relationship. You are incredible and I am so grateful to be able to do business with you. I want to create an amazing business relationship with you AND I want to make sure that there’s nothing else on your side. If there is, I would really appreciate if you can communicate it now so we can be on the same page. If we’re not on the same page, then I’m sorry but we will need to part ways.”
If the other person is not the same page as you and doesn’t have the same intention, then let him go.
LET HIM KNOW OR LET HIM GO.
If one person communicates that they’re out of alignment, perfect! You got your answer, move on. Let it go and find another one. Keep your mind in a place of abundance. It’s not the number of friendships that matter but the quality of the relationship.
As long you’re doing those two things: 1) being true to your intentions and 2) communicating them when you need to, then the rest is just for you to let go of what isn’t in alignment. Don’t be attached to having a relationship with someone if it doesn’t show up to be in alignment with what your intentions are.
Men and women can be friends as they respect each other’s boundaries and are aligned in their intentions with one another. I personally believe that gender should not be a limitation in building a strong, platonic relationship with the people you love and value.
What do you think? Can men and women be friends? This is a very interesting topic and I would love to hear your thoughts on it!