You CAN master your confidence— no matter who you are, what you’ve been through or what you believe to be true or not true about yourself.
I know what you might be thinking… “But Ashley, that’s easy for you to say. You’re so naturally confident!” Well, believe it or not– for the majority of my life, I WASN’T.
In the episode below, I share my own journey toward confidence along with some tips to becoming the most radiantly confident version of you. This is from an exclusive interview I did on confidence in a private mastermind group called the Matrix Success Network. The interview was hosted by Madison Dalmaso, who you may recognize from episode 36.
The questions I was asked and my responses are also written below if you’re more into reading than listening. 🙂
Tell us about where you were and the story of your confidence journey.
The person who I am today is COMPLETELY different than who I was about five years ago. Growing up, I was bullied, terrified of public speaking, had been diagnosed with social anxiety, and I’d usually be hiding in the back of the room, avoiding social settings at all costs! I believed I was meant for behind-the-scenes, not the spotlight.
There were a lot of mornings where I’d wake up, curl into a ball, and just wish I could disappear. I felt sad, alone and worthless.
When I embarked on my confidence journey, I dove deep into the uncomfortable work, confronted my demons, and came out as the authentic ME. I had muted myself for so long, but the deep work allowed me to finally become the person I was destined to be. I was finally free!
I transformed my pain into my purpose and went from having low self-esteem to loving myself and coaching other women to be their most radiant, confident selves.
What is something you wish you had known before you started your journey?
I was making up a lot of stories about myself that weren’t true. I used to think that I was scared of public speaking, rejection, and judgment. But all of that was FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real).
If you struggle with confidence, it’s not because of your fear of being rejected or judged. The real root of the problem is that you’re struggling to accept something about yourself.
In order to master your confidence, you need to be rooted, grounded, and certain of who you are. You have to know your worth and value. When you achieve that, you become unshakable.
It all starts with loving and accepting yourself.
If you’re not careful about what you consume on your social media feed, it can have a profound effect on you. How do you separate social media, real-life, and confidence?
First, I want to say that you’ll know it’s time to put away social media when you start to feel icky inside. I made a promise to myself that if I get that feeling, it’s time to put my phone away and become present with myself.
Get into the practice of honoring yourself when you don’t feel right inside. If it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself– SHUT IT DOWN. Take a break and recenter yourself. You have to have energetic boundaries.
Second, If you experience envy or jealousy about something, your feelings are rooted in resentment. How can you expect to attract or achieve the very thing you resent someone else for having? If you’re familiar with the law of attraction, then you know that it doesn’t work that way!
Instead of feeling feelings of envy, shift to feelings of admiration and inspiration. The key is to feel GOOD about what you want.
What would you say to those who love what you’re saying right now but still don’t feel confident about themselves and don’t know where to start.
Confidence is like a muscle. If you really want to master your confidence, then you HAVE to exercise it like you would when you’re trying to grow your booty! Sure, it’s going to be uncomfortable and hard at first. But once you get past the first few tries, it’ll get easier.
Write down a list of things that you have been wanting to do that you haven’t done yet because fear has been holding you back. Hold yourself accountable for doing ONE of those things each week! Just one!
Commit to one thing each week, and you’ll notice that your confidence muscle will keep getting stronger.
If you had to choose one book that would help you master your confidence, which book would you pick?
I’d have to say “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero. It’s a pretty good book, and I love the way she includes her sense of humor and flair.
I’d love to talk about your book and how you got started with writing it.My book, Magnetic Confidence, was never a way for me to make money. Ever since I was a little girl, I really wanted to write a book. My aunt was one of my idols growing up and she had published a poetry book. I remember thinking it was the coolest thing ever, and I wanted to do it too!
I also wanted to write a book because I knew I needed to share my message and story. Before, I would’ve NEVER shared the story about how I used to eat lunch in the girl’s bathroom stall. But once I started sharing it, I’d have people come up and thank me.
I realized that sharing my story helped others connect to what I went through and allowed them to see how lovable they truly were.
Final Thoughts on How to Master Your Confidence
So is it possible to master your confidence? ABSOLUTELY. I’m living proof of it. I hope that this episode helped you see how lovable and worthy you truly are! Now, get out there and exercise your confidence muscle!💪
Check out the Matrix Mindset Academy: https://xp527.isrefer.com/go/mm/hann/
You can connect with Madison on Instagram at @madisondalmaso
Follow Matrix Success Network on Instagram at @martrixsuccessnetwork
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